Dear Savant,
Has it really been three whole years sense you lost your sanity? I want to apologize for the shitty genes your father and I gave you; it was a total accident. I'm so glad you have been taking your medication lately. Have you noticed how it makes things go so much smoother? Your Dad and I sure have, and we know how difficult it is for you to remember to take them on schedule.
When you came home today and told me you were going to interview for a part time holiday job selling knives door to door, I hope you will forgive my negative take on that particular job being anything but a scam. You know that I called them and posed as a potential knife sales person to see if I could squeeze any specific information about the job out of them. When I asked if it mattered if I had a criminal history or suffered from insanity, they said,"No problem! Just come on in for an interview."
Well it's nice to know that at least one company that does "in home demonstrations of deadly weapons" (cutlery) does not discriminate in their hiring policies.
Two young men who were selling knives, came to my door before you were born. I wouldn't open the door and told them there was no way I was letting any strangers with knives come inside. But, hay, you know how I can always see potential problems where they probably don't exist. Maybe they don't sell knife sets at all. Maybe they just need mules to deliver drugs or plutonium in boxes that have pictures of knives on them.
I still think it's not the right job for you, but don't take it personally. I don't think it is a good job for anybody.
Love, Mom
I had that job for about three hours once, when I was just out of the Army. It was definitely a scam and left a bad taste in my mouth, even before lunch - when I quit. The straw that broke the camel for me was their strategy of targeting young single women who had just gotten their first jobs. Hundreds of dollars worth of knives is just what someone like that needs. And the knives weren't even that good.
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