Savant Is Getting A Tune-Up

Savant is back in the mental hospital for a tune-up on his medications. He was miserable and I was getting so sick of the slow process of his seeing a psychiatrist for a few minutes each month. It was voluntary, but he's still angry about being there. Surprisingly, with a voluntary committal, it isn't all that easy to leave mid-treatment. I don't want him to leave until they have tweaked his medications enough to let him have clearer thinking and less anxiety. This is a better hospital than he has been in before. In the one week he has been there, so far, he's seen the doctor and nurses more than in the whole past year that he's been going to the clinic.

Is this the best treatment a person can expect? It certainly is not the best they deserve. It wears the whole family down, to have no peace or sanity for one we all love. After that short monthly visit, does the doctor feel satisfied that her contact with each patient has brought well-being for another month? She would be so wrong. We say to each other, this must be the best, now, because it is better than the last doctor did. Surely, they wouldn't leave someone in their insanity for one second longer, if they had a medicine that could clear away the delusions and fear. We would be so wrong.

Forty One Houses

I've lived in forty one different houses since I was born. That count does not include the places between. I lost the will to make new friends and leave them behind again. I wait for the twisting of fate that will take me somewhere else I don't want to go. I'm afraid to make a friend of this house, to love it and believe that the leaving has ended at last.

The extinction of all attachment is reserved for the superior few. Insecurity has been my constant. Change crouches on my feet and cripples me. What doesn't kill you makes you weak.
Adversity, times forty one, does not make you strong. The wise say all life is change and suffering. I've learned that, but it didn't bring nirvana. Disinterested wisdom and compassion, the ideal condition of rest, harmony, stability, and joy should be right around the corner.
But I'm super glued to the other side of the coin. Tasered once may stun you, but forty one will kill.