It is Halloween today, 2006, Savant will have a birthday tomorrow.
I have an older son with problems also, but I'm trying to pull back on divulging what both my sons' issues are. I need support, but I don't want them, or anyone else to get the very wrong idea that, by writing about them, I get some kind of creepy emotional pay off. As you know, any person with very serious family issues benefits from knowing that they aren't alone.
I took my son to his doctor appointment yesterday, and after talking to him, she told me to take him directly to the hospital, where he will be for a while. And I had just written to a friend and one of my sisters, telling them how much better he seemed.
Because of his right to privacy, all the doctor told me is that: his condition is much worse than I think it is.?! How am I supposed to know what to think it is? I will see if she can arrange some family appointments, with my son's consent, because you can't deal with something when you don't know exactly what she is talking about. Today though, I'm glad I don't know. I hate when I spiral into that crummy emotionally raw place.
I was told, in the class I took when he was in the hospital for the first time, that Halloween is the worst holiday for schizophrenics. The slasher movie retrospectives for at least a week, the portrayal of scary homicidal psychos, which can heighten the fear ordinary people have of the mentally ill, the costumes and decorations, etc., can really knock schizophrenics into a place where they become very frightened.
I don't think that he is suffering because of that, but I would never have thought of it before he became sick.
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Happy Birthday Love.
It makes me so sad to hear about your baby's problems. In a way, it's also a relief, because my son is my heart and my suffering. He doesn't have the problems that your son has, his are different, but he's self destructive as all get out, and I never know what the right thing is to do for him. I'm afraid I'm doing the wrong thing all of the time, and I'm afraid if I don't step in, he'll die (his behaviors have caused him to have a serious life-long health issue that he constantly ignores). By stepping in, am I making it more and more impossible for him to ever function on his own without me doing everything for him. It doesn't help either of our children, but it helps to know that there others who are dealing with issues. Sometimes it's hard listening to everyone elses "perfect children" stories, and I have nothing to add, but thank God he's alive this week, and thank God no calls from jail, or a hospital.
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